Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A child in a man's body...

There will always be a point in a man's life when he begins to wonder at the very basic definitions, the very basic beliefs, the very basic constants on which he had defined and modeled the world, as he thought it to be, cease to exist. It is that moment when he suddenly realizes that the whole world that he thought, he saw, he heard, he smelt and felt was a delusion. It is that moment, when he feels, that the whole world is crumbling down. It is that moment when he feels like an alien feels on another alien planet. It is that moment, when he suddenly feels that all that he assumed, learnt, hypothesized and proved went gushing down like pieces of shit down a cesspool.

At this point, he has a few choices:

1) He could become completely bitter, and be cynical about the fact that the world is a cruel, monstrous place. For him, the world would become a desolate desert when it feels hot, a frigid tundra cap when he feels cold. All logic and reasoning would cease to exist, and he would thrive at the rare cold comfort of randomness or run about like a rabid dog and destroy everything in his sight.

2) He could just refuse to believe that such a point was reached by logically stating that it was an illusion or even if he accepts the so called reality, dismiss it as a rare exception to the world he had modeled. So he would continue to live in his inertial state of delusion, assuming it to be the reality, as he ignores "exceptions" or "illusions" that happen otherwise.

3) He would start thinking about his definition of the world and why such an exceptional case cannot be defined on the basis of his beliefs, definitions or constants. And like any diligent scientist, he would factor in the variables which he had priorly assumed as constant, challenge the basic assumptions he had made and arrive at a new hypothesis. With this, he would pick up few of the pieces of the world he had modeled earlier, those pieces he thought were right, discard the wrong pieces, and sit and painfully build up a new definition of the world. But this is a hard process because he has to challenge the entire belief system, which he had assumed to be true for a long time. Thus he would be moving form one state of delusion to another state of delusion which he believes would be closer to the reality.

4) But I think the best way to go about it is the poet's way or the child's way. He would go about life as if he were a child trapped in a man's body. He would continue to be amazed, incredibly happy, shockingly surprised, ragingly unhappy, whole heartedly sad, inquisitively curious and attentively focussed to even the smallest of experiences, which are dismissed by much of the "grown up" world as mundane and pedestrian. He would stand on the shore wondering at the beauty of the sea, awed by its power and energized by its sound. He would enjoy, picking up sea shells and building his own little brittle sand castle beside the marauding waves. He would continue to reach and pick up every tiny entity that the sea has deposited on his shore, not withstanding the fact that he was stung by that bright jellyfish, and then try to experience it with the same curiosity, interest and carefree joy while the whole world around him is learning to fly.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Longing to belong!

Wherever I look, I find people wearing their heart on their sleeves rather it would be the emblem of their favourite football club (oh yea, football is in and cool) or their favorite racing team or hell, even their favourite brand of beer! And by god, they are willing to swear by that club or team or band! Wherever I see, I see this incredibly mad urge for people to belong. To belong to some group, some idealogy or some philosophy.

Why this madness? I mean, I have sat in corporate meeting rooms, in pubs, at home and even on the streets! People are fighting it out just to prove that their choice of faith is better than others. After all, they cant be wrong can they? Abt a few decades back, people were divided by caste and religion. Now, they are divided by the choice of faith and idealogies. And in both the cases, they are willing to die for it. If you are gonna say "What crap! Why will people die for their stupid football clubs?" you are mistaken. Many a gory mob incidents have taken lives of frenzy and maniacal football fans on the streets of Italy, Romania and the likes.

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is - If you belong, u lose the neutral and the most logical point of view. Thats the reason why most of us are not able to think clearly when it comes to our own lives but can very easily and effeciently dispense solutions to others problems. Once the neutral point of view is lost, you will fit the facts to suit your inference or point of view. Thats when the point of contention moves from logiv to passion. Here is a not so small poem about a man who belonged to nowhere or the man who belonged to everywhere I feel:

Hark at the story, that I lay before thee
It isn’t the tale of a fairy, but you’ll be filled with joy n’ glee
I speak of times dark n’ dreary, when men would from each other flee
A tale that would make a few go teary, and tell you that no man is born really free

They say that the world was breaking apart, gone was a single land mass called ‘pangaea’
Small cracks appeared at the start, it was just the beginning of hysteria
The people and the lands drifted apart, these people who were actually ‘familia’
Poisoned were peoples’ mind and heart, by the many so called messiah

They invented flags to fight for, and then they invented religion
Born was the cult of hate n’ war, the spirit of love was all but gone
As hate n’ greed spread into lands afar, began the fight of brain n’ brawn
Kings n’ Priests came into power, this was history’s biggest con

When everything seemed to go from bad to worse, walked in a man so bright n’ fair
So mystical was he that mortals all wanted to chase, but all one could do was stop n' stare
In his speech was he so laconic n’ terse, yet could he conveyed lessons galore
They tried to find his ‘who n’ where’, but couldn’t: so they called him the ‘man from nowhere’

He walked alike on land n’ water, and walked right through the walls
Unstoppable was he by any barrier, the man who transcended boundaries all
The man who was to be the world’s saviour, for him no man was too big nor too small
He wanted to make the world more merrier, so he called one n’ all for the ‘hatchets’ burial’

It was an epic moment for mankind, ‘peoples ’ all gathered under the flag of truce
‘HE’ called forward one from each cast n’ kind, slit everyone’s hand with a knife
RED Blood flowed down each man’s hand, "Between these bloods show me the difference"
With this simple act he reached everyone’s mind, and showed the fight they fought was just a big farce

"Mankind is a mirror broken into smithereens, and when you look at it what do I see?
In every little piece I find an image of your own selves, only that each of you look smaller n’ meaner
Why when all of you laughs n’ cries in the same human way-that in ‘countries n’ religion’ you’re fettered?
Why is it that when one of you cries that the other laughs; Let the hate that lives be interred"

That night they all joined their hands, and partied into the night long n’ hard
As the whole world danced to the beats of a single band, there wasn’t anyone to stand guard
Thus having lent this helpful hand, he disappeared like a ship floating into horizon
The saviour of our lands, away into the 'land of the saviours' he receded

"THE MAN FROM NOWHERE...THE MAN FROM NOWHERE" – we really need you now and here
Because "THE MAN FROM NOWHERE" is "THE MAN WHO BELONGS EVERYWHERE"...

You can belong to somewhere or you can belong you everywhere. All you need to do is to unchain your mind a little and let it free.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Stray Musings


As you try to see things clearly, they get weirder. Hence I have more faith in the weird than the mundane.



Monday, April 23, 2007

The complex ways of the "simple" Indian life!!

" Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough." - Anonymous

We Indians are supposed to the one of the simplest people on earth. Every day I run onto articles or discussions or declarations that the Indian way of life is the simplest. Compared to our materialistic western counterparts, we are supposed to believe in simplicity. people listening/reading it will be made to think that Indians are products of "Philips" whose ad-line goes "Sense and Simplicity". But the truth cannot be farther away from this.

We Indians are one of the most complex beings. We are born with complexities and biases bundled into our installation software. We have a very complicated way of looking into the world. We look into the world with a kaleidoscope, making jigsaws out of a simple picture.

On the usual weekend, I having coffee with my friends at this coffee place (the coffees are overpriced, the politeness of the waiter unnatural and the smell of perfume in the air a bit stifling). I was talking about a friend who wanted a career shift to an alternate profession that was not exactly "main tracked", "away from the beaten path" or whatever you want to call it. The usual jazz about the generation gap and the "playing it safe" attitude , the inability to think 'outside the box" way of parents came up. My friend was 25 years and into a career already which was not fun enough. I also happened to mention how creative she was with her photography. It took exactly 3 seconds after I said "she" that somebody chimed in "What about her marriage?". 3 seconds, Bullets leave guns slower!! And this from someone who is supposedly modern, thinks out of the box and supposed to be avoiding the beaten path. The bias couldn't be much more clearer.

A similar thing happened at work. there is this chap at office. He is a really cool guy, very friendly, helpful and simple. Yet, many of the people here are little jittery of socializing with him. the reason, he has long hair and a slant teeth. That was the exact reason someone told me. Its really weird, when people say such things. Imagine what this guys classification of people would be. Homo Sapiens would be of 2 types - Long haired mammals : "Dangerouso keepth-away-iens " Short haired mammals: "harmless be-friends-iens"! Even my mom is scared of long-haired people. She threatened to kick me out of the house and disown me when I told her that I am going to tie up my hair in a pony-tail.

Another common bias that I have seen is the "cigarette-villain" effect. I have found that people are less friendly and less helpful when a stranger approaches them with a cigarette in hand. The bias is also shown in Indian movies where the villain (who is the embodiment of all evil in the world) has a perpetual cigarette in his mouth. Another similar effect would be "lowjeans-top-vamp" effect. People above certain age, generally, are less friendly to women in tight jeans and skimpy tops than to women draped in sarees. Although this defect is corrected with men of lower age groups.

An opposite phenomenon is also true. I have seen "dudes" who are wary of people who wear kumkum or vibhuti. They are by default assumed to be uncool, not broad minded enough . Just by wearing symbols of allegience to their beliefs, they are alienated. If I go on, the list would be pretty much endless.

The Indian middle class is indeed a very chameleonistic and a complicated social animal. I have seen and known some women, who have wear minis and sip beer with their husbands, smoke secretly with their friends but not in front of their husbands and who are draped in sarees at all times thy are with their in-laws.

We are born indeed with a large set of biases and complicated assumptions that work sometimes in a way that we assume them to be the obvious truth. Most of this utterly nonsensical and farcial. We should stop looking at the world through our biased glasses. We should break free from these stereotyping and compartmentalization of characters and try to see the real person behind the image. I would like to end this blog with this quote by Charles Mingus.

" Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's greatness! "

Respect.






Thursday, March 15, 2007

Whats in a name???

" My name is Srinath, Srinath Ramachandra..." I always say during any introduction in a James Bondesque way...

But apparently, this seems to be falling on deaf ears!! Just yesterday, one of my colleague(he is a northie btw)who sits in my bay/ bullpen ran into me and said "Vimal was looking for you... He seemed very angry!!!" (At this point let me tell you that I shifted to my cubicle just yesterday). Vimal is the Project Manager, a big-shot and he seemed like a very calm, friendly guy. So I got really scared (shitting in my pants!!)

I started wondering as i was walking to his cubicle thinking "What I have I done to wake this sleeping dragon up??" (A million things ran through my head... I orkut and chat utterly shamelessly... I spend so much time in the cafeteria, that the staff over there start missing me if I am on leave... As soon as i moved in to my cubicle I put up a on my board sayin "Beware of Sri!!"... I sometimes doze off on my desk amidst a pile of magazines and novels scattered on it...) So ,you can see, how the guilty mind kicked into action straight away!!

I walk into Vimal's cubical putting on the straightest face and most 'sub-ordinat'ely tone I could muster... He is staring hard into his monitor which is full of myriad graphs and figures... I stand there patiently... Finally, he lifts his head, glances at me and then ... SMILES!! I am now on unguarded territory... He sees the dazed look on my face and says "Tell me... How can I help you?". I told him that I was told that he was looking for me... He says "Yea??" I am like "Woo Hoo!! Hes forgotten about it!! Mangers memory are indeed short term.. " Then he realizes "Ohh.. I was looking for SRIKANTH... They must have got confused!!"

Relieved yet frustrated I walk out with a wry smile on my face... I mean, cant people realise the difference between SRINATH and SRIKANTH?? And this is not a one-off ocassion... It has happenned over and over again... And unfortunately, the wrong name stays in people mind for longer... I think it is some kind of a dyslexic phenomenon... Why don't people get confused between Aamir Khan and Salman Khan?? they have 4 letters in common!!


For the people I will list the common names that start with SRI-
Srinath
Srikar
Srivats
Srikumar
Srihari
Srivar
Sripad
SRIKANTH!!!
Srikanta
Srikesh
Sriman
Sriprabhu
SRILANKA
SRI SRI SRI SRI SRI SRI.... RAVISHANKAR!!

I'd like to emphasise that SRI is a suffix to a core word!! Please try and remember the core word along with the suffix!! So a small message to the northies... "Let not all SRI's be SRIKANTHS!!" and not all southies are Tams!! :P :P

Respect

Sunday, March 11, 2007

A ghost wandering in the hallways of past...

The sun is disappearing in the horizon
Splashing pigmallion all over the head
He is signing away in style
The warmth in my body fades away with him...

I am cold, even as sweat trickles down my brows
I look above and see veins of red and orange stretching across a purple skin
The wind is howling as it runs its cold fingers through my hair
Darkness has covertly taken over, planting its kiss on my forehead

The buzz in my head has faded, and in its place
A melancholic chant, It is calm, It is miasmic...
I walk on, walk on the stones and glass shards
I walk on, on the grass and the dew drops

I perambulate, I hip and skip to all my retreats
The hallways are crowded, crowded with humankind
Wherever I see, I see my friends, my acquaintances, even my enemies,
And right in the middle I see my consort

I cry out, yell, wave my hands
But all I garner is a wry smile, a tilt of the head
And warm droplets of tears down their cheeks
I try to catch it, but it passes right through my hand...

I can’t feel my steps, I am anesthetized
I run, run back to my past
I want my past to haunt me
I don’t want much...

All I want is a bright smile,
A friendly tousle, A morsel of my favourite chow
I want a warm hug from my love
And the blood to flow through me...

I walk along the corridors,
Like the blurry fog, hangs everywhere a deadly calm,
The doors slam shut as I walk across
And the light recedes to its basis

I dream of the fire and the sun,
I dream of the heat of the first shot of vodka,
I dream of love as life runs through my hand,
I dream of memories that had kept me warm in winter...
But I recede to the shadows,
I wallow in darkness,
I am but a ghost wandering through the hallways of the past,
I am the past........

Thursday, March 8, 2007

The Expectation Barometer

Old age quote: "Money is the root of all miseries..."
New Age quote: "Expectations are the root of all miseries..."

Right from the time we are born, we are subjected to this hideous pressure... A typical conversation over a new born baby....

Dad: "Hey... Look at his nose, Look at his nose... Just like mine"
Mom: "But his eyes are just like my dads..."
Dad: "He has a wide forehead... I am sure he will turn out to be brainy... " and in a low note adds "... like me.."
Mom: " cho cutey... cutey... cutey.... cho chweety chweety chweety..."

The poor baby is dazed... What if my nose turns out to be something different?? What if the wide forehead is a sign of premature baldness and not of intelligence?? What if I am not brainy and end up being just another software engineer?? What if mom keeps saying chweety chweety in front of my nursery home buddies?? Aahhh... its so much easier to be a grown up...

Then the kid starts growing up... He is sitting in the math class dizzied by the sheer volume of integers and numbers (both real and imaginary... wondering which lunatic came up with these concepts)... He quietly scribbles a line or two of poetry looking at the beautiful scenery through the window... And all of a sudden the math teacher has swooped onto his desk... He is brandishing a cane and picks up the book with panacea as the kid is dumbstruck!!

Teacher: (looking at the book) "The rays of sun touch me... I feel warm... I open my eyes... The sun is such a charm.. "
"
The laddie wants to be a poet!! If you cant do your math, you cant eat your pudding... 3 spanks now laddie..."

Spank... Spank... Spank

And then Roger Waters starts playing his enchanted guitar... And all the kids start singing in unison.. "We don't need no education... We don't need no false control... No dark sarcasm in the classromms...... Hey, TEACHER!! leave us kids alone..." (If only real life was so easy)



The kids still growing... He reaches the portals of an engineering college (He chose this stream because he thought he can chill out yet land up with a good job working in an AC office with a fat paycheck. Poor paapa thinks "beta hamaara bada naam karega..."). He is forced to sit in class partly because of the HOD and partly because the girl he has a crush on attends class regularly... As and when the semesters and internals fly by the marks are going down hill not to mention the knowledge gained... But one "golden" lining seems to be the fact the girl has become close to him... He asks her out and Lo!! there they are sitting in a cafe looking at each other while a sip on a cup of coffee...

Girl smiling sheepishly: "I never though you would turn out to be so sweet... I mean, not many guys are like you... Last time when I went to the summer camp, one mean guy called me fat......................."

All the while the thought keeps buzzing in his head... " Hey... How do I tell her that i am not as sweet as she thinks she is... I am just a hypocritical love crazy purvert... How?? How?? Wait a minute... Why should I even tell her that...."

and then ends up saying: "Who says you are fat... You are just pleasantly plump... "

Then life goes... The kid is now a man... He is now working as a kansaltant, giving solicited worthless advice by telling clients the obvious facts in a flowery, data intensive manner... All that the kid is a virtuoso at making power point presentations and using jargon centric language... (He also occasionally writes few lines of poetry in the final slides of presentations that wins lot od nice and wows from the client)... And the protagonist is married now, the the same girl... We'll after all she found out the real "him" but "What the hell!! All men are so.." ... Surprisingly inspite of his busy schedules and night outs they are having their first kid... The father is damn excited.... Rushes into the OT , looks at the baby...

and says... "Hey, he has my nose...."

Life indeed goes a full circle, The Expectation barometer just gets passed from one generation to the other...

Respect

Women's day!!

Its coincidental that I have started blogging on March 8th (Its my brother's birthday also: I wish him the best in his life) . I have always chided him that it is unfortunate that he was born on women's day. When he was young, he used to blush. Now he proudly says"Women will love me more than anyone else..." Pretty true in fact...

Any way, Women's day is a day not only for celebrating women empowerment, women liberation etc. etc but i also think its a day for men to ruminate... All very good ideals... Its indeed such a wonderful feeling to see women being part of lot of businesses, industries that was considered to be closed to them... Personally, I like it too... Otherwise all our work places would be like mechanical engineering departments...

Women are such wonderful beings... They are hard working, dedicated, strong, ethical (more often than not). It is inevitable that they have permeated all walks of life and succeeding too... So much so that as men, I think, we need to fear them... If the previous millennium was a testosterone fuelled world, the next would be an oestrogen guided one...

Look at the American athletic scene... No sooner were the American negros allowed than the basketball, baseball and athletics etc. have been dominated by them. Now the white Americans are struggling to get their foot in... I'm not saying its bad that this is happening... It's great!! The success that American sports has achieved must be attributed to this broad minded philosophy that they had embraced long ago...

The point I am trying to make is "MEN!! wake up... Women will steal your bread and butter from right under your noses...". Polish your manners, brush your shoes, take less coffee/smoke breaks... The Indian woman has arrived... Earlier, she had her way at home. Soon, she will have her way in the offices too...

A day is not far away when we will have "Men's room" on campuses and we start celebrating "Men's Day"... And for all the "metro sexual men", its not all about having long hair or going to parlors or shedding tears once in a while, its much more...

So, let me end by saying "Lets embrace womankind on this day... but let us not be lulled into a sleep..."

Respect

First Blood

Finally, I have succumbed to the temptation...
As Oscar Wilde has put it "I can resist everything, but temptation"

I still don't like the concept of blogging... Its much safer to say things and get away by saying that you misunderstood me... Once you put it down in a written form, it complicates things... Ask the lawyers, they will tell you so...

But having said that, I just couldn't sit and watch as lot of my friends who blog meet interesting people (read women) and hook up... So i thought "What the hell!!" But, seriously I felt that it would help me to argue and sharpen my wits over issues that will never be useful in the real world ;)

I will end this first blog, by thanking my special friend without whose constant rebuke I would never have delved into this art form...

And finally, if you are intrigued by the name of my blogspot... Well I'm a sucker for exotic names... :)

Respect...

About Me

When Harry met Sally love happened, When Adam met Eve mankind happened, When Adam met Steve blasphemy happened, When Larry met Sergey Google happened, When mom met dad disaster happened!